Lots of us will have had times when we’ve wanted to use a condom but it hasn’t happened.

Sometimes things happen in the heat of the moment, including sex without condoms. If you find this happens a lot there are steps you can take. It could be a case of being more prepared – maybe you are partying, things have got out of hand and before you know it you wake up not knowing what’s happened.

Make sure you always take condoms and lube if you are going out, and ask a friend to look out for you. You may like to talk to someone about what’s happening, call THT Direct on 0808 802 1221 to find out about help and support near to you.

Some of us find it hard to negotiate with the other person about condom use. Maybe you’re younger and less experienced than the guy you’re with and he won’t listen to you. Or maybe you feel like you can’t bring the subject up. Lots of men feel that if they want to use condoms the other person will assume they have HIV or an STI.

Some tips to help:

• Be clear about what you want and mention condoms before you start having sex. If you don’t want unsafe sex, say so. You may find the other guy is relieved to talk it over.
• Carry condoms and lube so that if you do go home with someone you’ll be prepared even if they aren’t.
• If he doesn’t want to use condoms, explain that you want to use them to protect his health and yours. Not all STIs have symptoms and you don’t want to run the risk of picking one up or passing one on.
• If you feel pressured in any way to have sex you don’t want, just leave. No-one has the right to make you have sex without a condom if you don’t want to.

Call THT Direct on 0808 802 1221 to find out about counselling and groups that can help you improve how to negotiate safer sex.

This article was last reviewed on: 25/08/11
Date due for next review: 25/08/13